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Donald Trump should absolutely get a Nobel Peace Prize

Re: South Korean president thinks Trump should win a Nobel Peace Prize

Of course that branzino galoot should get a peace prize. Give him two. Everyone should get a peace prize and then we can all stop caring about this stupid nothingburger.

Obama got a peace prize and he presided over years of sprawling, rudderless, American belligerence in the Middles East and everywhere else. He even okayed a new military adventure in Libya with foreseeably disastrous consequences, opening yet another front on the American war on everything and everywhere and everyone.

Aung San Suu Kyi has been in the news lately (though not nearly as much as catastrophe warrants) for her rather quiescent attitude towards ethnic cleansing of the Rohingya perpetrated by the Mynamar military. Now, granted, I am not fully up to speed on Myanmar politics, nor do I know how much power she may actually have. But I do know she's sitting in the putative top spot watching her troops commit a genocide, and she's also got a peace prize. The western media coverage of this is amazing in how much hand-wringing is devoted to this conundrum, the fact that she received the prize causing more distress than the, you know, mass death and suffering.

Look at this list of Nobel Peace Prize Laureates. Henry Kissinger? Mother Theresa? Begin? This is a who's who of evil bastards (Mandela and a smattering of others are legitimately heroic).

What is the point of this prize other than for egoists to masturbate? How much better than randomness is the Nobel selection process (one unifying aspect of the recipients, I notice, is not peace, but power)? Why do we have to keep hearing about it? What does it do if two of the big-name winners in recent memory have been in effect as blood-lusty as any other asshole?

Give it to trump. Hell give it to me. They should give these things out in kinder eggs. They should be in those cheap plastic toy dispensers outside the grocery store.

Salt-crusted branzino, a candidate for the Nobel Peace Prize